I saw a pear lying in the middle of the road. Yes, the curvaceous green fruit. I talked on my phone and having gone to the grocery store a few minutes prior I felt a tinge of sadness. Someone dropped their pear after walking all the way to the store. I identified with this individual, I didn’t like pears — I found them a less-cool, less-tasty version of an apple. My desire to reap the benefits from another’s folly immediately left my consciousness.
Because I was on the most crowded street in Tartu (Estonia! Read my posts, like, subscribe), I figured a passerby dropped the pear only a few seconds before. I was eager to save a poor shopper from losing their beloved treat. I scanned the people walking on the road that lonely Tuesday night. I held a bottle of wine — the SuperAlko closed at 10:00, and I sprinted to the store and made my purchase by 9:57. Still out of breath and holding a bottle of wine, I saw a man with a plastic shopping bag. He was relatively short, wore a beanie, and workout pants though he wasn’t exercising. This man ate pears.
I snatched the pear from the ground and chased after the man as he turned the corner. “Sir, Sir…” I exclaimed, “Your pear, your pear.” In retrospect, such words were probably never uttered before in English and probably went unuttered by any person out of breath and holding a bottle of wine in human history.
I finally reached the man, “Is this yours?” I said holding the pear, hoping that he’d wish luck upon the future generations that bore my name.
A group of older gentlemen began to laugh, though I hardly consider trying to nourish another by giving him a pear on a darkened street corner late at night to be funny, at the interaction.
The pear-eating man turned around and started to laugh, “Very…good…English.” He said.
The pear-eating man laughed and the group of gentlemen laughed louder and I stood looking at the pear as if I held a diamond and an onlooker had just said, “You know that’s shit, right?”
As they laughed together I got angry, but now I laughed too. I looked at the pear and tossed it like a grenade into the alleyway.
I laughed until I reached the corner. Then I walked home confused.